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I’m Toast

The many ways in which men and women think differently never cease to amaze me.

Take appliances.

In our never-ending spate of kitchenware giving up the ghost, the toaster died.

As Basil would say, it didn’t owe us anything. I think we’ve had it all 20 of the years we are married, and honestly, I may have had it before that in my own apartment (the remembered solitude of which is looking mighty good lately).

It was a good toaster. Did its job, kept its slide-out tray clean, didn’t burn the bread. But the knob you pushed to get the toast started fell off one morning last week and refused to be fixed. It seemed a replacement was in order.

I would have taken a Bed Bath & Beyond coupon, driven to the store and found an inexpensive model to take its place. I would have remembered that counter space is already in short supply and purchased accordingly. I would have been back in 30 minutes; had the toaster unpacked and the old one tossed in the bin five minutes later; and have returned to whatever I had been doing.

Basil took a Bed Bath coupon and was gone for two hours.

In that time, he looked at and fiddled with every toaster they had. He sent me photos of two of them. I reached for a paper bag to breathe into after hearing their prices.

He returned with the Cadillac of toasters. The thing has a user’s guide that’s more complicated than my car manual.

Come to think of it — this thing might be able to give me a ride if I need it.

Toast anyone?

Toast anyone?

It has four slots whose sizes adjust according to the width of the bread put in them. There is a special “bagel” setting and another for “defrost.” It even came with nifty wooden tongs so you don’t electrocute yourself pulling your breakfast out of the thing.

And it takes up half the little side table next to the fridge.

All this for a family whose typical toasting action involves a single half-bagel Catherine eats on the way to school each day.

So, if you have some bread that needs toasting, feel free to bring it by. I want to make sure we get our money’s worth out of this thing.

About Terri S. Vanech

Wife, mother, communications specialist, Jazzercise instructor and recently reunited adoptee. I'm living out loud -- and trying to make it all work -- in midlife. Having a sense of humor sure helps.


4 thoughts on “I’m Toast

  1. Our first toaster was one which had a thick, round, two color, fabric covered electrical cord with a giant plug,and a door on each side which you’d flip down by hand to turn the toast around for the second side. We’ve toasted bread alot of ways, over the years. On a fork over the campfire is my favorite because it reminds me of my mother, who taught me so many different ways of doing things!! You can really count on an Aussie Girl Guide!!

    Posted by Kirsty Pratley | November 1, 2013, 9:40 pm
  2. The test in our house is English muffins. We do use our toaster, have bought expensive ones, and cheap ones. The one we have now is a brand I never heard of, not expensive, and does an okay job on English muffins. No toaster we’ve met does a good job on them.

    Basil and Bill should go shopping together sometime. It would be interesting to see what they come home with!

    Posted by Karen Waggoner | November 1, 2013, 9:19 pm

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