adoption search

This tag is associated with 26 posts

Flash forward Friday — A secret no more

I don’t know if you can be Cinderella in a pair of riding boots, but on Monday I sure felt that way. I punctuated a weekend’s worth of birthday celebrations by meeting the woman who gave birth to me. (Go ahead and read the previous sentence again. I met the woman who relinquished me for … Continue reading

Two guiding lights to steer me home

What a day tomorrow will be. I haven’t slept a wink in days, my mind is going a mile a minute and I’m feeling more than a little “green” at the prospect of tomorrow’s lunch. I’m meeting my first mother, Pat, and will surely not be able to swallow a bite. There’s one person who … Continue reading

Flashback Friday — Back to the Future

1972, my sixth birthday. I can taste that cake just by looking at it — it is my standing order year after year. And those crown-shaped candle holders sat on countless birthday cakes in our house .I think they were finally retired sometime ago. The dress, too — I remember loving it, althought today I … Continue reading

Found at last!

It’s her! It’s her! It’s her! As most of you know, I’m rarely speechless. Almost never without a smart remark to widely share. But I am tonight. I can’t think straight except to know I finally found my birth mother, Patricia Clark. A call tonight with a relative of hers confirmed what I hoped was … Continue reading

For an adoptee, a few paragraphs bring hope … and validation

It’s been a heck of a week for Jeff. Jeff was born in 1965, nearly a year before me, and discovered at age 41 that he was adopted. Trying to sort out your identity when you’re adopted is difficult enough; I can’t begin to imagine what it must be to process that news in midlife. … Continue reading

No beginning, no end. So how do I tell the story?

In Land of Gazillion Adoptees, Amanda Woolston wrote this week about how adoptees’ scant background information reduces them to stereotypes: The lucky, grateful adoptee. The unwanted baby finally wanted by someone else. A perpetual child. A person with an invisible past. Finding in her adoptive parents’ house some redacted records from her adoption file, Amanda … Continue reading

Quest for true understanding about the pain associated with adoption

Most Sundays, the New York Times’ Modern Love column makes me smile, or cry. Today’s sent me straight to the keyboard. Elizabeth Foy Larsen’s “Untying a Birth Mother’s Hands,” gets points for having the right instinct — to connect her adopted 6-year-old daughter to her roots — but what it has in heart it lacks … Continue reading

It’s Complicated: An Adoptee’s Road to Search, Part 1

I received a lovely note in my inbox last week: Judy, a friend from my school days, used my story in talking with her 12-year-old adopted daughter Mollie. It seems friends at camp were shocked to discover Mollie isn’t interested in searching for her birth parents. Judy told Mollie that she has Judy’s blessing if … Continue reading

Weather or not, my search goes on

I was not sure what to make of the state of the weather as I set off today to meet the documentary filmmaker working on a film about adoption and adoption search. Just as I reached the train station, the skies opened up — a real monsoon — and there I was with my carefully … Continue reading

Seeking the reflection of my true self

I found myself nodding in agreement this morning reading The Declassified Adoptee. Amanda writes about what it means to have an acquaintance notice the resemblance she and her children share, and what it is like to finally have someone who looks like her. I can definitely relate. Catherine’s birth was a watershed moment for me … Continue reading