Pushing on a Rope
adoption search
Let’s Stop Making Adoptees Ask Permission to Know Who They Are
Editor’s note: It’s National Adoption Awareness Month (NAAM). How will you #FlipTheScript? I first spoke with Steve, a 53-year-old New Jersey adoptee, in February, soon after he received his original birth certificate thanks to a change in state law in New Jersey. * He’d just found his birth mother and was bubbling over with excitement. … Continue reading
The searching adoptee’s lament: ‘I wasn’t whole. I didn’t belong. I needed to know’
Here in National Adoption Awareness Month, adoptees like me continue to #FlipTheScript on the dialogue around adoption, finally putting emphasis on how adoptees feel instead of letting everyone else drive the greater conversation around adoption. Last week’s post considered the notion of adoptee as “lucky.” This post looks at a theme I explore in the book I’m writing … Continue reading
Finding my father
Some people celebrate their 50th birthdays by jumping out of airplanes. I belatedly marked mine in a similarly adventurous way, minus the parachute and clouds zooming by: Yesterday, I met my natural father. I’m an adoptee. Three years ago I found my first mother and an extended family that welcomed me with open arms. Still, I had to know the … Continue reading
New book will focus on what it means to be adopted
My adoption blogs put me in touch with thousands of other adoptees who encouraged me to write a book about my journey to find my birth mother. I appreciate those votes of confidence, but instead of writing about me, I have decided to write a book about you – the adoptees I’ve already met and … Continue reading
Why adoptees search
Adoption search and reunion seems to be everywhere lately, from the reality TV shows of a couple years back; to the Facebook posts of adoptees and first parents desperately trying to find each other; to the big screen, where Judi Dench’s title role portrayal in Philomena, the story of an Irish woman’s search for the … Continue reading
Flashback Friday — What. A. Year.
Having a few much-needed days off could be perhaps the best Christmas present of all. Briefly freed from the 5:30 am alarm clock, and the treadmill of tasks and chores, I’ve been able to catch up with friends, take stock and plan ahead, turn the events of the past 12 months over and over in … Continue reading
Full Circle
What a day it was yesterday! I’m still pinching myself after meeting a bunch of cousins, cousins-in-law and an aunt and uncle at the BBQ my brother, Chris, and his wife, Jill, hosted to introduce me to everyone. It was an amazing day — picture-perfect weather and lots of fun. My mind is racing as … Continue reading
Getting to know me
Yesterday, some folks from Goose Creek, NC, piled into their car for the first leg of their trip to New York. A couple from Kennesaw, GA, made copies of old family photos and started their trip north today. Several others from various points of the map are also putting other of life’s obligations on hold … Continue reading
Oh, brother!
Each step of this reunion journey is like unwrapping another present. Having talked with Chris, one of my half-brothers, by phone and on Facebook, I’ve arranged to have lunch with him; Pat, my first mother; and Chris’ wife, Jill; in a few weeks, when Basil, Catherine and I will be nearby for a college tour. … Continue reading
Adoption search and reunion bring host of unexpected gifts
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve made cry these past few weeks. Relatives. Friends. Acquaintances. Strangers. I’ve watched them all well up, one by one, time and again. It’s not what you think. I haven’t morphed into a monster (or brought my household drill sergeant persona out of the house). Turns out the story … Continue reading
Pushing on a Rope 