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Adoption, Uncategorized

New book will focus on what it means to be adopted

My adoption blogs put me in touch with thousands of other adoptees who encouraged me to write a book about my journey to find my birth mother. I appreciate those votes of confidence, but instead of writing about me, I have decided to write a book about you – the adoptees I’ve already met and those I plan to meet the next few months.

image

New family ties — at the June 2013 BBQ my half-brother Chris threw to introduce me to the family.

In the coming months I’ll be interviewing Baby Scoop era adoptees about their experiences to get to the heart of what it means to be adopted.

The book’s focus

I’ll be speaking with adoptees who have searched and those who choose not to, those in positive reunions with biological family members and those who did not connect or whose reunions have fizzled.  We’ll discuss:

  • How they feel about being adopted;
  • How the experience has shaped them and affects their relationships;
  • Why they choose to search – or not to search – for biological connections;
  • What they hope to discover;
  • And what they learn about themselves along the way.

Why now?

Despite the spotlight on adoption these days and the movement to open birth records that is gaining momentum across the country, all too often adoptee voices remain absent from the discussion on adoption.

We are viewed as forever children, with the media and pro-adoption groups often speaking on our behalf as though everyone else will always know what’s best for us.

Or we are portrayed in stereotypes: the people-pleasing adoptee, the selfish adoptee, the angry adoptee … or worse.

The truth is that while we have some shared experiences and insights, each adoptee story is distinctive. Each of us deserves to be heard.

Movements like The Lost Daughters #FliptheScript initiative and adoptee blogs like The Declassified Adoptee have started to shine a light on the subject. Adoptees’ memoirs and anthologies offer poignant individual glimpses at what it means to be us. But more attention is needed if we’re ever to move past the secrets and lies that are the hallmarks of our stories.

The book is all about you

My book will bring together a large cross-section of adoptees whose stories will support, connect and inspire adoptees and the people who love them.

More than 30 people — many of them strangers — have agreed to speak with me in just a few weeks of my making casual requests. Many of them have already shared their journeys with me.

That tells me I’m on to something. I hope you’ll agree.

If you’re a Baby Scoop-era adoptee willing to share your story, write to me at terrisv@att.net so we can arrange a time to chat.

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About Terri S. Vanech

Wife, mother, communications specialist, Jazzercise instructor and recently reunited adoptee. I'm living out loud -- and trying to make it all work -- in midlife. Having a sense of humor sure helps.

Discussion

27 thoughts on “New book will focus on what it means to be adopted

  1. Is it too late?

    Posted by Lenore Paletta | February 12, 2017, 1:03 pm
  2. Count me in, please? (I’ll send an email.)

    Posted by Snarkurchin | February 12, 2017, 6:44 am
  3. I don’t know if you’re still looking for people to interview, but I’d be happy to talk. I also have a sister. She doesn’t like to talk about adoption, but she might be a good person to interview because of that. She might have opinions that aren’t voiced very often.

    Posted by fojap | November 4, 2016, 6:35 am
  4. Hi Terri ~ I just sent you an email. 🙂

    Posted by Kelly Moore | March 9, 2016, 8:57 pm
  5. Hello. I was born in NY in 1956. My story is a bit unique. I was informed about being adopted by my husbands ex. I have discovered after nearly 30yrs of searching that my family had ties to the NY state legislature. My mother was married to one of the legislators who may possibly be my father, although this is questionable at the moment. They were not yet married at the time of my birth. I was told that I was given up so as not to hurt my father’s career. I am starting to believe that he was married to someone else at the time. Even my adoption papers were falsified. I would love to be part of your project. Please contact me anytime. Thank you, Joanne Denner

    Posted by Joanne Denner | February 23, 2016, 9:10 am
  6. Hi..I was born in 1943 at an unwed mothers home in KC MO..you may interview me if you want to.

    Posted by Carolyn Pooler | February 23, 2016, 12:29 am
  7. Hi Terri. I am an adoptee. Born in 1968. I searched but did not have success story with bio family. Wonderful adopted life though. If you might be interested let me know.

    Posted by Julie | February 10, 2016, 10:32 pm
  8. If you are still looking for adoptees, I would be willing to share mine. I was born in Hartford in 1958.. And was adopted through Catholic Family Charities.

    Posted by Kathleen | February 9, 2016, 7:17 pm
  9. So glad we got to meet because of this project!

    Posted by Paige Adams Strickland | February 5, 2016, 7:41 am
  10. What an incredible undertaking Terri! I wish you wonderful success!

    Posted by Lynn | February 4, 2016, 9:46 am
  11. You go girl!! Proud of you. Big undertaking, but nothing you can’t handle, and handle well. You know I support you and I hope you achieve the result you’re striving for. Good luck.

    Posted by murphyslaw | February 4, 2016, 7:34 am

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