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adoptee

This tag is associated with 30 posts

The hardest thing I ever did

My colleague, Jackie, shared her life story recently. As is true for so many of us, it is a journey punctuated in equal measure by happy surprises and huge disappointments, false starts and clear sailing, personal setbacks and awesome achievements. Time and again, she was able to reinvent herself, to grow as a result of … Continue reading

Getting to the heart of adoptee grief

If you’re adopted, people are forever telling you how to feel: Be grateful. Don’t be one of those angry adoptees. Stop questioning things and move on already. The truth is that for many of us, being adopted means forever navigating a roller coaster of emotions, none of which cancel out other feelings. It is, as … Continue reading

The 1 Question Adoptees Can Never Truly Answer (And Why They Keep Asking It)

Editor’s note: This is one in a series of posts for National Adoption Awareness Month that seeks to #FlipTheScript on the adoption narrative. If you’re also an adoptee, I invite you to add to the conversation in the comments below. Rob is the adoptive father of a grown son and daughter and a friend with … Continue reading

15 Things You Should Never Say to an Adoptee

If you’re adopted, you’ve likely heard many of the comments below. (I even heard three of ones on this list from members of my biological family early in my reunion with them.) And if you’re not adopted, you may have uttered some of these chestnuts thinking you were being thoughtful and empathetic. Trust me, you … Continue reading

The searching adoptee’s lament: ‘I wasn’t whole. I didn’t belong. I needed to know’

Here in National Adoption Awareness Month, adoptees like me continue to #FlipTheScript on the dialogue around adoption, finally putting emphasis on how adoptees feel instead of letting everyone else drive the greater conversation around adoption. Last week’s post considered the notion of adoptee as “lucky.” This post looks at a theme I explore in the book I’m writing … Continue reading

A prescription for change: Why it’s time adoption laws reflected reality

For the first time in recent months, I was able to go to the doctor and provide family medical history to the physician rather than scrawl “adopted, no family history” across the page. If you’re not adopted, you may not understand how important this is, not only as it relates to my medical care, but … Continue reading

Why We Need to Give Voice to the Adoptee Experience

November is National Adoption Month, and adoptees use the opportunity to #flipthescript on the pro-adoption narrative so ingrained in society by sharing their experiences and viewpoints. Here’s what I’m doing to #flipthescript: When I tell people I’m a twice-reunited adoptee writing a book based on interviews about what it means to be adopted, they often ask questions … Continue reading

Finding my father

Some people celebrate their 50th birthdays by jumping out of airplanes. I belatedly marked mine in a similarly adventurous way, minus the parachute and clouds zooming by: Yesterday, I met my natural father. I’m an adoptee. Three years ago I found my first mother and an extended family that welcomed me with open arms. Still, I had to know the … Continue reading

New book will focus on what it means to be adopted

My adoption blogs put me in touch with thousands of other adoptees who encouraged me to write a book about my journey to find my birth mother. I appreciate those votes of confidence, but instead of writing about me, I have decided to write a book about you – the adoptees I’ve already met and … Continue reading

If we’re ever to get real about adoption, adoptees must be heard

I met Dave, a fellow adoptee, on the phone the other day. He was telling me about himself and his work, and mentioned that while growing up, he always felt like the odd one out in his family. “I’m adopted,” he confided, then explained he doesn’t know how much of his talents and skills to ascribe … Continue reading