Pushing on a Rope
adoptee
Finally recognizing ‘a basic human right’ for NY adoptees
Dawn Millward didn’t expect anyone to respond when she Tweeted earlier this month asking adoptees to share the names they’d been given at birth, but the replies kept coming. Kristen. I was Kristen for 9 years before I was adopted and it was changed in 4th grade….” I was Megan Patricia Doyle for 6 weeks before … Continue reading
The hardest thing I ever did
My colleague, Jackie, shared her life story recently. As is true for so many of us, it is a journey punctuated in equal measure by happy surprises and huge disappointments, false starts and clear sailing, personal setbacks and awesome achievements. Time and again, she was able to reinvent herself, to grow as a result of … Continue reading
Getting to the heart of adoptee grief
If you’re adopted, people are forever telling you how to feel: Be grateful. Don’t be one of those angry adoptees. Stop questioning things and move on already. The truth is that for many of us, being adopted means forever navigating a roller coaster of emotions, none of which cancel out other feelings. It is, as … Continue reading
The 1 Question Adoptees Can Never Truly Answer (And Why They Keep Asking It)
Editor’s note: This is one in a series of posts for National Adoption Awareness Month that seeks to #FlipTheScript on the adoption narrative. If you’re also an adoptee, I invite you to add to the conversation in the comments below. Rob is the adoptive father of a grown son and daughter and a friend with … Continue reading
15 Things You Should Never Say to an Adoptee
If you’re adopted, you’ve likely heard many of the comments below. (I even heard three of ones on this list from members of my biological family early in my reunion with them.) And if you’re not adopted, you may have uttered some of these chestnuts thinking you were being thoughtful and empathetic. Trust me, you … Continue reading
The searching adoptee’s lament: ‘I wasn’t whole. I didn’t belong. I needed to know’
Here in National Adoption Awareness Month, adoptees like me continue to #FlipTheScript on the dialogue around adoption, finally putting emphasis on how adoptees feel instead of letting everyone else drive the greater conversation around adoption. Last week’s post considered the notion of adoptee as “lucky.” This post looks at a theme I explore in the book I’m writing … Continue reading
A prescription for change: Why it’s time adoption laws reflected reality
For the first time in recent months, I was able to go to the doctor and provide family medical history to the physician rather than scrawl “adopted, no family history” across the page. If you’re not adopted, you may not understand how important this is, not only as it relates to my medical care, but … Continue reading
Why We Need to Give Voice to the Adoptee Experience
November is National Adoption Month, and adoptees use the opportunity to #flipthescript on the pro-adoption narrative so ingrained in society by sharing their experiences and viewpoints. Here’s what I’m doing to #flipthescript: When I tell people I’m a twice-reunited adoptee writing a book based on interviews about what it means to be adopted, they often ask questions … Continue reading
Finding my father
Some people celebrate their 50th birthdays by jumping out of airplanes. I belatedly marked mine in a similarly adventurous way, minus the parachute and clouds zooming by: Yesterday, I met my natural father. I’m an adoptee. Three years ago I found my first mother and an extended family that welcomed me with open arms. Still, I had to know the … Continue reading
New book will focus on what it means to be adopted
My adoption blogs put me in touch with thousands of other adoptees who encouraged me to write a book about my journey to find my birth mother. I appreciate those votes of confidence, but instead of writing about me, I have decided to write a book about you – the adoptees I’ve already met and … Continue reading
Pushing on a Rope 