Pushing on a Rope
adoptee
If we’re ever to get real about adoption, adoptees must be heard
I met Dave, a fellow adoptee, on the phone the other day. He was telling me about himself and his work, and mentioned that while growing up, he always felt like the odd one out in his family. “I’m adopted,” he confided, then explained he doesn’t know how much of his talents and skills to ascribe … Continue reading
Flashback Friday — Portrait of the Artist
Wish the photo quality was better, but still can’t resist posting this picture of Catherine on our patio in 2000. She was 4. Life is good when you have your own, appropriately sized, fish-festooned, table and chairs; matching umbrella to shade you from the sun; a full sippy cup and snack; a fresh coloring book ready … Continue reading
Why adoptees search
Adoption search and reunion seems to be everywhere lately, from the reality TV shows of a couple years back; to the Facebook posts of adoptees and first parents desperately trying to find each other; to the big screen, where Judi Dench’s title role portrayal in Philomena, the story of an Irish woman’s search for the … Continue reading
Full Circle
What a day it was yesterday! I’m still pinching myself after meeting a bunch of cousins, cousins-in-law and an aunt and uncle at the BBQ my brother, Chris, and his wife, Jill, hosted to introduce me to everyone. It was an amazing day — picture-perfect weather and lots of fun. My mind is racing as … Continue reading
Getting to know me
Yesterday, some folks from Goose Creek, NC, piled into their car for the first leg of their trip to New York. A couple from Kennesaw, GA, made copies of old family photos and started their trip north today. Several others from various points of the map are also putting other of life’s obligations on hold … Continue reading
Sibling revelry
Catherine and I tease Basil because he likes to say, “When you see it, you see it.” Today, I saw it. At lunch with my newly discovered brother, Chris. We’d barely sat down when Chris said, “You’ve got to see the resemblance.” I admitted that while I saw a bit of it around the mouth, … Continue reading
And now, for a closer look
Family resemblances are a pet project of mine. I am endlessly fascinated by how people look and act alike. It is, I presume, the result of being adopted and growing up without seeing another person who looks me. Catherine’s birth nearly 17 years ago began to change that; she looks a bit like me, especially … Continue reading
Oh, brother!
Each step of this reunion journey is like unwrapping another present. Having talked with Chris, one of my half-brothers, by phone and on Facebook, I’ve arranged to have lunch with him; Pat, my first mother; and Chris’ wife, Jill; in a few weeks, when Basil, Catherine and I will be nearby for a college tour. … Continue reading
Adoption search and reunion bring host of unexpected gifts
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve made cry these past few weeks. Relatives. Friends. Acquaintances. Strangers. I’ve watched them all well up, one by one, time and again. It’s not what you think. I haven’t morphed into a monster (or brought my household drill sergeant persona out of the house). Turns out the story … Continue reading
Flash forward Friday — A secret no more
I don’t know if you can be Cinderella in a pair of riding boots, but on Monday I sure felt that way. I punctuated a weekend’s worth of birthday celebrations by meeting the woman who gave birth to me. (Go ahead and read the previous sentence again. I met the woman who relinquished me for … Continue reading
Pushing on a Rope 