Pushing on a Rope
Adoption
New book will focus on what it means to be adopted
My adoption blogs put me in touch with thousands of other adoptees who encouraged me to write a book about my journey to find my birth mother. I appreciate those votes of confidence, but instead of writing about me, I have decided to write a book about you – the adoptees I’ve already met and … Continue reading
If we’re ever to get real about adoption, adoptees must be heard
I met Dave, a fellow adoptee, on the phone the other day. He was telling me about himself and his work, and mentioned that while growing up, he always felt like the odd one out in his family. “I’m adopted,” he confided, then explained he doesn’t know how much of his talents and skills to ascribe … Continue reading
For adoptees, it’s all about connections
As a searching adoptee, I faced a lot of questions from well-meaning people who just didn’t get it. “Didn’t you have a good childhood?” “Aren’t your parents your real parents?” “Shouldn’t you just leave it alone?” “Why rock the boat?” As I approach the year anniversary of connecting with Pat, my first mother, many of … Continue reading
A Girl Like Her … and A Girl Like Me
Emotional day yesterday. I traveled to Hartford for the screening of Ann Fessler‘s acclaimed documentary, A Girl Like Her, which chronicles the 1 million+ women who relinquished their babies for adoption in the 1950s and ’60s. Access Connecticut, the grassroots group working to restore the right of adult adoptees born in the state to have … Continue reading
Let’s face it
If I wasn’t already unnaturally fascinated by family resemblances, Ulric Collette’s photographs would have sealed the deal. Collette’s collection of split-screen photos shows just how deep family roots run. The results are striking. Some photos of siblings almost appear to be the same person. The photos of parents and children often seem to be the … Continue reading
Full Circle
What a day it was yesterday! I’m still pinching myself after meeting a bunch of cousins, cousins-in-law and an aunt and uncle at the BBQ my brother, Chris, and his wife, Jill, hosted to introduce me to everyone. It was an amazing day — picture-perfect weather and lots of fun. My mind is racing as … Continue reading
Getting to know me
Yesterday, some folks from Goose Creek, NC, piled into their car for the first leg of their trip to New York. A couple from Kennesaw, GA, made copies of old family photos and started their trip north today. Several others from various points of the map are also putting other of life’s obligations on hold … Continue reading
And now, for a closer look
Family resemblances are a pet project of mine. I am endlessly fascinated by how people look and act alike. It is, I presume, the result of being adopted and growing up without seeing another person who looks me. Catherine’s birth nearly 17 years ago began to change that; she looks a bit like me, especially … Continue reading
Oh, brother!
Each step of this reunion journey is like unwrapping another present. Having talked with Chris, one of my half-brothers, by phone and on Facebook, I’ve arranged to have lunch with him; Pat, my first mother; and Chris’ wife, Jill; in a few weeks, when Basil, Catherine and I will be nearby for a college tour. … Continue reading
Adoption search and reunion bring host of unexpected gifts
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve made cry these past few weeks. Relatives. Friends. Acquaintances. Strangers. I’ve watched them all well up, one by one, time and again. It’s not what you think. I haven’t morphed into a monster (or brought my household drill sergeant persona out of the house). Turns out the story … Continue reading
Pushing on a Rope 