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Adoption

This category contains 53 posts

15 Things You Should Never Say to an Adoptee

If you’re adopted, you’ve likely heard many of the comments below. (I even heard three of ones on this list from members of my biological family early in my reunion with them.) And if you’re not adopted, you may have uttered some of these chestnuts thinking you were being thoughtful and empathetic. Trust me, you … Continue reading

The searching adoptee’s lament: ‘I wasn’t whole. I didn’t belong. I needed to know’

Here in National Adoption Awareness Month, adoptees like me continue to #FlipTheScript on the dialogue around adoption, finally putting emphasis on how adoptees feel instead of letting everyone else drive the greater conversation around adoption. Last week’s post considered the notion of adoptee as “lucky.” This post looks at a theme I explore in the book I’m writing … Continue reading

Yes, I’m adopted. Please spare me the L word

It’s National Adoption Awareness Month — the time when I and other adoptees work even harder then usual to dispel all the myths and misconceptions around what it’s like to be adopted. For reasons I’ll never understand, non-adopted people seem to feel they have license to weigh in on the adoptee experience. In my 52 years, … Continue reading

For adoptees, life as an inconvenient truth

Sandee sobs as she tells me her story. Adopted as an infant, the now 51-year-old flight attendant from Florida struggled for most of her life trying to make peace with being adopted and figure out her place in the world. She’s always felt like a fish out of water, but never before has she felt … Continue reading

A prescription for change: Why it’s time adoption laws reflected reality

For the first time in recent months, I was able to go to the doctor and provide family medical history to the physician rather than scrawl “adopted, no family history” across the page. If you’re not adopted, you may not understand how important this is, not only as it relates to my medical care, but … Continue reading

Why We Need to Give Voice to the Adoptee Experience

November is National Adoption Month, and adoptees use the opportunity to #flipthescript on the pro-adoption narrative so ingrained in society by sharing their experiences and viewpoints. Here’s what I’m doing to #flipthescript: When I tell people I’m a twice-reunited adoptee writing a book based on interviews about what it means to be adopted, they often ask questions … Continue reading

Another year of wedded bliss

Give this guy a medal. For 23 years Basil has managed to stay married to me. It’s no picnic as those who know me can attest. I’m sarcastic, relentless … and have particular rules for things like how towels are folded. Yet, I’ve not managed to run him off yet. He’s the best possible partner, whether it’s … Continue reading

Five Years of Fabulous

The nicest gift arrived in the mail this week — a necklace commemorating my five-year anniversary as a Jazzercise instructor. It’s nice, as they say, to be noticed. And as I reflect on five years of plies and chasses, and the wonderful relationships forged on the the dance floor and stoked off it, I can’t help but … Continue reading

Finding my father

Some people celebrate their 50th birthdays by jumping out of airplanes. I belatedly marked mine in a similarly adventurous way, minus the parachute and clouds zooming by: Yesterday, I met my natural father. I’m an adoptee. Three years ago I found my first mother and an extended family that welcomed me with open arms. Still, I had to know the … Continue reading

New book will focus on what it means to be adopted

My adoption blogs put me in touch with thousands of other adoptees who encouraged me to write a book about my journey to find my birth mother. I appreciate those votes of confidence, but instead of writing about me, I have decided to write a book about you – the adoptees I’ve already met and … Continue reading