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Recipes for failure

I was “Chopped” in my own kitchen today. Back-to-back baking disasters unlike I’ve had in a long, long time.

Usually, I can whip up sweets in my sleep. Not today. Everything I touched was far less than palate-pleasing.

Of course I was rushing, multitasking, racing to get back to that (I only wish it was) imaginary stack of spinning plates (er, pressing matters) I always seem to have going like one of the crowd-pleasing acts on The Ed Sullivan Show. (Or is that shew?)

I was making desserts to bring to a dinner with friends. While cleaning the house, taking care of some work tasks and doing a bit of laundry.

It was a typical Saturday after all.

About the time I pulled the first hot mess from the oven, I learned the dinner would be rescheduled. Not on account of my lack of baking prowess, but because of the host’s ill health. I hope he is feeling better very soon.

Meanwhile, it’s a good thing I didn’t have to show off my piecemeal blueberry cake.

Blueberry Cake -- maybe I should call it Blueberry Crumble.

Blueberry Cake — maybe I should call it Blueberry Crumble.

No amount of confectioners’ sugar would hide the cracks and wayward hunks I tried to reattach after scooping them from where they stuck in the pan. It’s one of the hazards of baking without eggs (Catherine is allergic).

I promise it tastes just fine. As long as you eat it with your eyes closed.

And I didn’t have to try to plate the charred Palmiers, either.

Gives a whole new meaning to golden brown, don't you think?

Gives a whole new meaning to golden brown, don’t you think?

Catherine and I took one for the team and ate some of the burned ones on this pan. But a bunch (like those two in the lower part of the photo) were too far gone, even for us to try. They sit in the bottom of the garbage pail now.

The second pan of Palmiers fared much better, thank goodness. Catherine’s been working her way through them all day long.

As for me, I’ll pass on dessert tonight; thanks anyway.

About Terri S. Vanech

Wife, mother, communications specialist, Jazzercise instructor and recently reunited adoptee. I'm living out loud -- and trying to make it all work -- in midlife. Having a sense of humor sure helps.


12 thoughts on “Recipes for failure

  1. It seems inevitable that there will be baking disasters. I always try to salvage mine, but it doesn’t always work out. Next time will be better!

    Coming to you from Bloggy Moms

    Posted by Alia | September 5, 2013, 11:35 pm
  2. Hope you have better luck with your next dinner party and treats you bring. enjoyed reading your post.


    Posted by Mary K. Hill | June 17, 2013, 7:06 pm
  3. Awww… Don’t feel too bad! I will be the one who burns things the first time around… and probabl the second time too! Thanks so much for sharing with us @ My Favorite Posts SHOW oFF Weekend Blog Party!

    The Wondering Brain

    Posted by Jessica | June 6, 2013, 9:16 pm
  4. take my name and there is disaster while baking! That’s why I’m more towards blogging about it than baking!
    I posted an article on different types of cakes. Why not choose your favorite cake? 😉

    Posted by Shweta D'souza | June 3, 2013, 5:03 am
  5. I have baking days like that every couple of months too 🙂 Since I try new recipes almost everyday I have a relatively high rate of failure. I hope you have a better week of cooking and baking, it happens to all of us!

    Posted by Foodie in WV | June 1, 2013, 9:41 pm
  6. Many years ago – maybe 49 – I made a banana cream pie for dessert, one of bob’s favorites. The custard didn’t set very well, but hey, it tasted just fine. I offered seconds and bob as well as our two kids accepted the offer. “But”, said my son, I don’t want any of the soup.”

    Posted by Florence M Miller | June 1, 2013, 9:29 pm
  7. A little ice cream could save the cake! Maybe some blueberry syrup on top of it.

    I’ve had some spectacular disasters — a pie that took half my grocery budget when we were first married — my first from-scratch cake that looked more like pancakes (there’s a mistake in the cookbook — no leavening — no eggs, no soda, no powder) — and we won’t even discuss the well-done versions of cookies or cakes because I got sidetracked. Good thing the dinner was rescheduled. You can try again!

    Posted by Karen Waggoner | June 1, 2013, 8:48 pm

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