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Marriage

Garbage in, garbage out

Try, as you read this, not to hate me.

I know many of you got sparkly, shiny gifts these past few weeks — presents maybe in tiny blue boxes — but I’m betting none of you came home from work tonight to find this:

Wait just a couple of seconds and it'll close all by itself.

Wait just a couple of seconds and it’ll close all by itself.

Yup. It’s a new kitchen garbage can.

I’ll wait while you “ooh” and “aah.

Done?

Good.

This model is a hands-free open/close garbage pail. Just let your fingers hover above the mechanism and presto, whammo, it opens. Wait a few beats, and down the lid goes.

Basil just informed me this is my Christmas gift — a special treat since we’d agreed, Magi-style, to go without them this past year (I thought the brilliant removal of the post-Sandy felled tree root ball in our back yard was gift enough).

At least this present manages to adhere to my friend Jacquie’s “no plug” rule (it’s battery operated).

I’m trying to keep my “thank you” smiled plastered on, but at the rate we’re going, it’ll be broken very soon. In the 30 minutes since I arrived home, Basil has demonstrated it to me no less than eight times.

Lid up.

Lid down.

Wonder if this company makes toilet seats. …

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About Terri S. Vanech

Wife, mother, communications specialist, Jazzercise instructor and recently reunited adoptee. I'm living out loud -- and trying to make it all work -- in midlife. Having a sense of humor sure helps.

Discussion

12 thoughts on “Garbage in, garbage out

  1. lol. Reminds me of the year my husband bought me an air purifier for my birthday — youre’ good. I couldn’t even “plaster” no a smile. He looked dumbfounded by my lack of gratefullness. “THe lady at HOme Depot said you’d love this.” Lady? What does HER man buy her?

    Posted by styler2013 | January 10, 2013, 7:04 pm
    • This is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day!!!! Love. it. Better than the timeworn story a former colleague likes to tell about how for her 40th, her husband bought her expensive stretch cream! Thanks for reading; I hope you’ll come back again soon (and send your friends!).

      Posted by Terri S. Vanech | January 10, 2013, 8:14 pm
  2. Perhaps Basil would have watched in amazement as you dumped his dinner in there?
    And if he REALLY cared he would have bought you the model that compacts the garbage and then texts you when it needs to be emptied.
    Maybe next year..

    Posted by John S. Pontillo | January 8, 2013, 11:58 pm
  3. Ha ha….loved this Teri! Welcome to my world. Ed loves to repeat stuff…over and over! I never get household stuff as gifts. I may have mentioned to Ed that my last husband gave me an ironing board for my birthday…seriously!
    This was one of your best! I always read your stuff. This one hit the nail on the head!

    Posted by sandra martin | January 7, 2013, 10:08 pm
  4. LOL!! I need to come up with a new rule. Something along the lines of –it isn’t a gift if everyone uses it.

    Posted by Jacquie | January 7, 2013, 8:48 pm
  5. The first Christmas we were married, my present from my beloved was — a garbage disposal! And a white bathrobe. The disposal went back because we lived in base housing, and if we installed it, we had to leave it. We exchanged it for a clock radio — and his parents sent us one. Ultimately, a 1/4″ drill was the final purchase. The man is full of romance! But we’re still together, so he does have other good points.

    Posted by Karen Waggoner | January 7, 2013, 8:26 pm
  6. Haha! One of my piano families had one of those and every time I’d walk to tell the mom something that lid would come up & startle me to no end. You can probably have a lot of fun with it – should you dare. 😉 Reia

    Posted by reiadm | January 7, 2013, 7:12 pm

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