Pushing on a Rope
adoptees
A victory for adoptee rights in NY
The voice on the other end of the phone 10 years ago was smug and self-righteous: “What you’re asking for is against the law. You should just forget it.” What I was asking for was a copy of my original birth certificate, the first record of my birth created before I was adopted, and New … Continue reading
Adoptee rights bill offers validation, truth
Thursday’s editorial in The Greenwich Time and Stamford Advocate couldn’t have said it better: “Give adoptees their birth certificates.” YES! It made my heart sing to flip the page and see the headline (extra points to the editorial writer for not referring to adopted people as children). And once I read it, and saw that … Continue reading
Can We Talk? Adoptees are Missing from the Conversation Around Adoption
The reporter’s query called to me. Wedged between a Huffington Post come-on for “Boozy Coffee Cocktail Recipes for the Holidays” and Anonymous’ assignment for “Restaurants on Farms,” it was like a beacon in this morning’s HARO newsletter: “Things Adoptive Parents Think You Should Know About the Process.” Curious to know more, I clicked for the … Continue reading
In search of my better life
One of the arguments proponents of adoption often raise is that it gives adoptees a better life. Better than what? And who’s to know? Ask a non-adopted person to discuss adoption and they’ll probably tell you it’s a chance to give a child a better life. Maybe, and maybe not. One thing that’s certain adoptees … Continue reading
#BeingAdoptedMeans
Different. Incomplete. Alone. Angry. Confused. These are just a few ways adoptees are describing themselves on social media lately as National Adoption Awareness Month looms in just a couple of weeks. And as part of the ongoing effort by adopted people to #flipthescript on the whitewashed adoption dialogue we’ve been fed all our lives, adoptees … Continue reading
Let’s finally close the door on closed adoption
Adoptees like me who were relinquished during the era of closed adoption have a hard time explaining to others why the arrangement shouldn’t be glorified. Getting people to understand that the Pollyanna narrative around the arrangement is based on flawed assumptions and that growing up not knowing our true selves has caused emotional harm is … Continue reading
Think you know how it feels to be adopted? You’re probably wrong.
An acquaintance who knows I’m adopted — I’ll call her Sue — took time after one of my exercise classes last week to tell me about her boss, an adoptee who found her half-sister after doing DNA testing. Sue’s boss had flown from Connecticut to Seattle so the siblings could meet. It had been a good visit, … Continue reading
Let’s Stop Making Adoptees Ask Permission to Know Who They Are
Editor’s note: It’s National Adoption Awareness Month (NAAM). How will you #FlipTheScript? I first spoke with Steve, a 53-year-old New Jersey adoptee, in February, soon after he received his original birth certificate thanks to a change in state law in New Jersey. * He’d just found his birth mother and was bubbling over with excitement. … Continue reading
The searching adoptee’s lament: ‘I wasn’t whole. I didn’t belong. I needed to know’
Here in National Adoption Awareness Month, adoptees like me continue to #FlipTheScript on the dialogue around adoption, finally putting emphasis on how adoptees feel instead of letting everyone else drive the greater conversation around adoption. Last week’s post considered the notion of adoptee as “lucky.” This post looks at a theme I explore in the book I’m writing … Continue reading
Yes, I’m adopted. Please spare me the L word
It’s National Adoption Awareness Month — the time when I and other adoptees work even harder then usual to dispel all the myths and misconceptions around what it’s like to be adopted. For reasons I’ll never understand, non-adopted people seem to feel they have license to weigh in on the adoptee experience. In my 52 years, … Continue reading
Pushing on a Rope 