Terri S. Vanech

Plumbing the depths of disrespect

Really, I shouldn’t complain. This has been a wonderful week. The big project I’ve been busy with celebrated its birthday, and I’ve been on the receiving end of an amazing list of special surprises — including one that sparkles and one that will drastically improve my home life, as well as visits from the Tulip … Continue reading →

A letter to the mother I’ve never known

Dear Patricia: It’s me, Jennifer. I’m here, all grown up with a child of my own, wishing I was speaking to you instead of writing a letter I hope you might see in cyberspace. And today is our day — the day that seals our fate, and continues to toy with our emotions. I hope … Continue reading →

Remedy for the Grammys’ fashion faux pas

As always, the Grammys were entertaining last night — lots of good music and people-watching. It’s always interesting to see how the other half lives. And dresses. Although many of the getups the stars wore were gorgeous and flattering, I couldn’t help but wonder what Fergie, Lady Gaga, and Niki Minaj were thinking. I wished … Continue reading →

I’ve got it — all — in the bag

Like a lot of women, I like a snazzy handbag, and recently purchased one. It’s terrific — roomy, with lots of pockets and nooks so I stay organized; the right length handle so I can sling it over my shoulder; a fun color to combat the winter blues. I know women who carry bags the … Continue reading →

Waving the white flag in the face of winter ills

Bad enough when the rasp in your voice makes your boss think he’s talking to a man. Worse still when you’re the idiot racing out of church during the quiet of Communion prayers because you can’t stop coughing (why do we sit up front?!) and everyone else pretends they’re not looking at your beet-red face … Continue reading →

Sick daze

Like every third person I meet, I’m sick. Just a cold or other minor bug, but enough to mess with my schedule. Probably like you, my life is planned down to the millisecond. There is always too much to do and too little time to get it done. Plus a special work project over these … Continue reading →

A closet full of heart and soles

A friend mentioned last night that she hates shoes. What?! She might as well have said she hates diamonds or pearls, the creamy comfort of mac and cheese or the bracing sip of fresh-squeezed lemonade, lazy summer afternoons or visits from Santa Claus. What woman HATES shoes? (Especially one sporting the black suede flats she … Continue reading →

On promises, privacy and adoptees’ right to know

A friend messaged me yesterday to call my attention to a Diane Rehm program on NPR about how adoptees and birth parents are using DNA testing to try to find each other. Of course, I had to tune in, keeping the show in the background while I worked. By then it was several hours past … Continue reading →

Repeating history, yet again

I will NEVER learn. Nineteen years and counting, and I STILL can’t stop myself from inviting Basil on shopping trips. (My husband, that is, not the herb.) And every single time, I spend most of the trip either trying to move him along or traversing every square inch of the store trying to find where … Continue reading →

Originally posted on Mostly Bright Ideas:
Most of us spent our childhoods bouncing back and forth between our own wants and the demands of various authority figures. In many ways, it seemed like some kind of game that we woke up in the middle of, and that required us to figure out the rules as…